(By Hella Ahmed) To restrain, to contain at all costs, to enforce a controlled dialogue that distorts the essence of true exchange, to presumptuously claim an undeniable right to direct, to disparage the independence of a vast presence: from the heights of one’s inflated reputation, we almost forget that exteriority transcends mere materiality and objectivity. One can never possess another in their entirety, so why presume to reduce them? We know they belong to the infinite, not to some category.

Comparison lacks reason

Those who incessantly compare themselves and strive to demonstrate primacy merely reveal their own lack of self-confidence and self-awareness. It is juvenile to engage in a contest of personalities. One should allow one’s soul and spirit to express their best, rather than seeking to prove superiority over another who is the object of our obsession, or over many, used as mirrors of ugliness or failure to elevate oneself in the eyes of onlookers by contrast.

To cling to an existence, fueled by envy while shouting contentment and pride in one’s flamboyance, requires having little of sincerity to offer, continuously reinforcing a facade crafted from sometimes shrill, sometimes hidden bitterness. All is wrapped in stolen beauty to seduce those enamored with spectacle, whatever it may be, and to move the naive who fail to see the depths beneath it all. Those who subscribe to this method are incapable of finding the light within themselves to sell and resell. Their destructive nature is that of the satiated’s sourness, who wishes to see another’s world crumble at their feet like a grand, insecure soul hating the independence of one who can create magic and break the monotony.

Incongruous libertinism

Some open couples (who agreed on having extra-conjugal sexual affairs, each one on his side) can indeed be quite frustrating (and I emphasize « some, » not all), as they fail to grasp or genuinely commit to the ethos of their lifestyle. They engage in sexual relationships with others but harbor a deep-seated fear that an outsider might disrupt their supposedly unbreakable romantic bond with their primary partner.

They might perceive as a threat or source of frustration individuals who have not sought their attention, falling in love themselves unintentionally, only to end up seeking a connection that is both platonic and deeply romantic where they will demand all the benefits. They will ask for sacrifices, love, attention, and loyalty, offering little in return, believing that their primary relationship and sexual escapades with others are the only ones worthy of sincere investment.

They might resent you for loving you or because their partner is interested in you; they may exhibit a lack of sensitivity in how they view the freedom and emotions of others. Being self-centered is hardly conducive to making such an open lifestyle work successfully. Exteriority is not and object. How can someone advocate for freedom without ensuring that such advocacy does not morph into another form of constraint or expectation? Sometimes, immaturity and cognitive dissonance go hand in hand.

Politics, Intimacy, the abyss

I feel like politics mirrors this same pattern: rules are imagined for oneself and others, but not adhered to by oneself. Projects are established to contain the infinite under the guise of a clumsily defined identity, without excuse for protecting the vision of a leader who acts as they please. In a closed group, where everyone has their own style, decisions are made in the name of the whole, and strategies are improvised to influence and gain (in fame and financially), exploiting both noise and silence. To speak one way and act another is considered a great irony; rights exist that only protect the rights of those entitled, bound together by the ties of supreme privilege.

And then, there are the collaborators in secrecy, ambivalent though aware of the wrongdoing, who sometimes experience a surge of conscience, but mostly revel in watching arrogance’s demands destroy the sidelined intelligence, out of envy and out-of-context vengeance. And yes, there’s the fight, the resilience, the anger, and the inebriated gentleness of those exiled from the land of merit, isolated on their own ground. The abyss is a tattoo, a story of a heart adrift, of a reason that, despite everything, finds a shore to exist after having endured so much.

The Hierarchy of Desires

Intimacy becomes a shady affair when there’s no respect for diversity, when one fails to see that the other is not a toy to be used and discarded, when one does not understand that consent is crucial in relationships, whether they are romantic, sexual, friendly, professional or political!

One does not coerce others into alliance through manipulation when invoking reason, fortune, and unity, unless one is dishonest and irrelevant. « Desire and money, » are the world’s engines; materialistic desire turns the body into something to own. Desiring the mind, which becomes a gold mine to exploit, to seize an essence that conveys meaning and significance, using it as a tool for power. Desiring victory without compromise means establishing one’s own system within a system one would wish to be the same for all.

Hella Ahmed © All rights reserved – Find my books on Amazon