You can’t borrow a universe and call It networking

(By Hella Ahmed) Times have changed. Even the writers, CEOs, or wannabe CEOs who loudly warn about the dangers of AI and preach the urgent return to “organic connection” rarely hold all the answers. But too often, they don’t even follow their own advice when it comes to integrity or showing basic respect to the creative minds who actually do the work—people who slowly build their own universe, shape a real identity, and generously share their art and knowledge with the world.

Many of them love to talk about creativity and fairness, yet when they find someone with a rich, authentic vibe, their first instinct is to quietly follow, borrow ideas, absorb the energy—then never like, never share, never give a visible nod. Instead they use that same spark to promote themselves and their inner circle, all while sending carefully mixed signals of admiration laced with exploitation. No one with a sharp mind accepts those unspoken, twisted rules for long. Sure, nobody is pure. But no one gets to treat a perceptive person like they’re occasionally naive or stupid just so chosen ones can keep profiting.

Inconsistency wins (until It doesn’t)

Not a surprise: two-faced virtue has always been a winner in business and social environments, whether in real life or in the virtual one — which is also real life, provided you can still tell spam, fake news, and trustworthy information apart. The real issue is that even if you personally can spot the difference, most people aren’t that vigilant. Sometimes they prefer to play blind while the covert narcissist quietly reels in the naive and the vulnerable. Look around: people “help each other out,” they exchange services, they call it networking, they call it the game.

So you’d tell people to go see a Freudian analyst, spend years and all their money digging into the deep reasons they can’t truly connect — all so they can finally understand how algorithms keep them locked inside their own echo chamber, unable to authentically reach into someone else’s world and actually build something that resembles a community. Right? I won’t.

Therapy as an ego performance

I won’t recommend it because I can’t stand watching people who are so wrapped up in themselves turn their own psychoanalysis into a kind of moral badge. They’ll casually mention they’ve “done the work,” spent years on the couch, implying that automatically makes their intentions pure and their behaviour above suspicion. But that logic doesn’t really hold. You can dig as deeply as you like — if someone is fundamentally dishonest or self-serving, no amount of analysis washes that away.

It’s exhausting to see people who are genuinely searching for answers get pulled into a space where the therapist’s ego becomes the real centrepiece— a drawn-out, self-referential performance that never quite ends. Once certain therapists latch onto you with that entitled focus, the loop begins: every word twisted just enough to keep you uncertain, keep you coming back, keep the sessions (and the payments) rolling. They frame it as healing, but too often it feels more like an invasion dressed up as care.

The psychology of healing – beyond flexing or code

While AI cannot replicate the full emotional depth of human-led therapy, its logical structure and constant accessibility can still help many people navigate difficult moments more effectively. Some conversations with AI even offer a kind of useful, pragmatic confrontation that cuts through confusion without judgment (see “Dialogue with AI integrates useful confrontation for pragmatic support,” 10 August 2025). At the same time, when mental or emotional struggles deepen, technology can quietly pull someone further into isolation, making genuine, in-person connection feel more distant — or even impossible.

If someone is dealing with serious mental health challenges and needs real guidance, it’s worth remembering that modern psychology has largely moved beyond older psychoanalytic ideas like transference and countertransference. Today it leans toward more empirical, measurable frameworks: the therapeutic alliance, cognitive schemas, emotional regulation, and evidence-based tools (see “Modern psychology: beyond historical psychoanalytic concepts,” 30 July 2025).

There are also many qualified, highly competent human healers — not all of them psychologists — whose practices around the world have proven deeply helpful and beautifully aligned with people’s individual paths. The key is staying discerning: avoid being misled by misinformation or charlatans, but also recognize that some people wearing impressive titles religiously fake integrity. Ultimately, the psychology of healing and learning to connect more honestly — physically, mentally, emotionally — is far richer and more varied than what certain entitled voices try to reduce it to.

Moments that still feel real

There are people out there creating content that shows what real, positive connection looks like — bringing others together for something good. Take the guy who’s been traveling the world, meeting people right there on the street and asking if they can cook for him at their place in exchange for a little money. There’s something deeply pleasing about watching them prepare a meal side by side, talking about ordinary life, sharing small pieces of their stories. When you’re sitting at a table that isn’t weighed down by heartbreak, when the conversation is simple and warm, it can feel almost extraordinary — especially for anyone feeling isolated or going through a rough season. Those moments remind people that connection is still possible, and that alone can be quietly inspiring

Social media isn’t always a trap. At its best, it brings you closer to people who share your interests, your curiosities, your sense of humor, your values — connections that can be hard to find in everyday surroundings. In the digital era we’re living in (and can’t really step out of), that proximity to like-minded people can be a real help. It even opens unexpected windows: some discover paths to disconnect more intentionally, or to move somewhere quieter, closer to nature, where life costs less and consumption isn’t the default rhythm. For people who are drowning in the lonely, exhausting routine of the 9-to-5 “matrix,” seeing these other ways of living can feel like lifelines — small signs that there really is a way out.

Escaping learned-helplessness

When the environment around you constantly deprives you of what you need to grow — when it refuses to make space for your views, your projects, your way of being — that slow erosion can lead to something very real: learned helplessness. You start believing the box you’ve been squeezed into is the only reality. But surviving isn’t the same as living. Breaking those chains isn’t just rebellion; it’s healing. It’s choosing to stop carrying the hurt that never belonged to you and finally making room to honor who you actually are — not the version the world tried to force into shape.

Some people need to create, to fly, to thrive on real excitement — or they simply die inside. Culture and progress actually depend on them, so let them breathe and become everything they’re capable of becoming. Don’t lock them in a cage and then expect them to love you, cheer for you, promote you. It doesn’t work that way.

Give and Take – the only honest game

Give and take is the only honest game. Don’t just ask, don’t just pretend, thinking that kind of one-sided extraction will somehow deliver you long-term, substantial wins. Brilliant minds don’t fold under pressure to hand over their gold with a polite smile while they’re left shivering in cold austerity just so you can enjoy selfish prosperity. Their value is their property. They are entitled to personally profit from it.

Hella Ahmed 2026 © All rights reserved – Find my books on Amazon