I will not let them make me a volunteer until the last breath while they enjoy it and party at the 4 Seasons thanks to my brain and countless efforts!

(By Hella Ahmed) When starting your career and adding volunteer work to learn, contribute, and make connections, don’t do it for too long. As you become visible, even viral, through your knowledge, personal investments, and productions, it can cause you a lot of trouble. Do not turn your diplomas and talents into freely accessible treasures; you will be labeled as the precious « free-of-charge professional, » and far too many greedy individuals who feel entitled to easy success, fortune, and praise will come around to use and abuse you.

Narcissistic businessmen with some power in the communications field will target you to profit from your work without negotiating fair compensation. And they never come alone; they are always surrounded by women who need them to succeed professionally, desperately looking for the opportunity to demonstrate superiority when given, under protection, a license to disrespect other, much more capable women and exploit them.

It’s not about your mindset and abilities 

When you begin your career doing some free work, you must quickly move on to making profit and finding allies, otherwise narcissistic men will be on a mission to prove to you that they can use you and destroy you if you resist. Of course, they will also support, at the same time, their admirers, the women in their entourage who shower them with praise. This is a sort of ongoing MeeToo-style power and money trip, and favoured women are benefiting from it. They will try hard to show you that they can devour you and have the best support to make it happen. They feel the need to prove to you that you have to admire and obey them in order to gain the right to exist, when in reality, you are completely independent and owe them absolutely nothing.

You can be a mastermind with degrees, great intellectual power and experience, their females will be treated as your superiors when they are far from being that at all. They depend on you to a certain extent, strategically and psychologically, and if you give them an open window, you become their obedient slave, it will never be their intention to return the favours, they will remain out of real reach. 

I feel like those powerful narcissistic people have to be really smart if they are trying to convince us that that’s what they really are. They often do the same mistakes when working on taking advantage of someone they consider as being brilliant. If the person is bright, do you think that using intimidation techniques will make that smart individual comply with nonsense? Why reward trashy behaviours? They strangely expect us to be on their side and promote for them what they violently took from us, but truth is, you need to be completely broken and brainwashed to put up with this kind of disrespect. It’s hard and not that common to get to that point.

The game of power 

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 get 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑢𝑔𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙, 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡, 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 « 𝑣𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 » 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑝 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑, 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

Making a profit as an entrepreneur after you’ve given too much of your precious time and energy for free can be very hard to achieve, especially when you have shown a large range of abilities and rooted yourself in a few interesting fields. There will be simultaneously several disloyal competitors coming from different horizons to hunt you down. Remember that so-called big shots and their sycophantic females are often backed by huge organizations with good funding and government ties, so it is very unlikely that they will be criticized by their allies as they mistreat you and grow more powerful doing it.

Of course, the public can occasionally be in rage against them, but dealing with that is part of the game of being paid influencers taking sides politically to benefit from it. Yes, journalists can apparently do that, frequently switch, and decide who can be worthy of having a business or not. Don’t take it personally; don’t even try to bring in arguments to justify yourself. Walk away proudly, cancel those who canceled you, and see how they feel about it; they will hate it. Let them be arrogant with someone else, so they can feel satisfied and grandiose acting like fools.

The cult culture in business 

I’ve written about this in my books; typically, companies that don’t like spending money on marketing and brag about being big at advertising and selling have a ‘cult culture.’ The term « family » is used in an oppressive way; employees and friends (with benefits) are pressured to indulge in embarrassing praise and invest their personal lives in the marketing process, turning into being defined by « the mission, » they become “agents” of extension.

Many among them invade exterior entities to indoctrinate, use, and incorporate them, of course, keeping in mind the priority of personal privileges and prestige at all times. They do not plan on sharing the benefits obtained through hostile strategic interventions. There is the “test” phase where the newcomers in the game are supposed to give and not receive to extensively prove their dedication and future loyalty. This phase is, in fact, meant to never end, and those labelled as newbies can be complete strangers to the bizarre organization and its system, just people who have never asked to be players in the perverted game.

So it works; history has shown us plenty of times that it is a complex and viable system which, nevertheless, ends up collapsing in most cases. The leader being **both a tyrant and a love guru**, paradoxical speech is a great tool for narcissists to maintain their power with low investments. Why and how does this system fail? Everything is explained in my books: *Light and Shadow Profiles*, *How do manipulators strike?*, *Disconnected? Breathe*. To give an idea: the members of the circles ultimately develop hard feelings and hostility towards each other, as there is always a competition to be the « favorite » of the harsh leader. They also face the opposition of intelligent outsiders resisting their « cultist » attacks, who will hold long-term grudges.

Parasitism shows incompetence; once you understand this, it’s hard to be intimidated or feel strategically threatened by people who don’t know what they’re doing.

The bigger is not necessarily the better

After you’ve gone through the worst, you realize that there’s no such thing as meeting the right person at the right time. That’s just a story the corporate world likes to offer the public to justify bringing someone in particular into the circle of power. Most everything is political, linked to inherited prestige and power.

It’s almost all settled already; the privileged hook up with each other in the same circles, they take from the valuable outsiders and share the wealth and renown among themselves. Honors belong to them only; they get into friendships, professional, and romantic associations within their closed groups! So you can be bright and desirable only to be used, ignored, belittled, and sadly single forever!

They will not send you an invitation to their party at the Four Seasons, and if they do, expect to be mocked as you naively show up without a wealthy Prince Charming. Meritocracy is a beautiful dream; believe the system, you’re not creating a new one. Let’s say you get there with a classy beau; they will gladly immediately assume that your date has picked you up off the streets, exactly like in a « Pretty Woman » situation, when you’re obviously the one who brought him to the party, and they have invited « you » in the first place, not him.

You get what you negotiate 

People do you wrong because they refuse to honestly negotiate, but on the other hand, they dare to talk about benefiting themselves and humanity. See, they include you in « that humanity » to erase the part where you are here to benefit yourself, not for them to serve themselves and humanity through exploiting you.

Are you an activist? If yes, stay and fight to change the system, but keep in mind that most celebrated activists are paid for their actions as part of an organization’s plan. Do not put yourself in a situation where you will be perceived as the perpetual slave, and if this unfortunately happens to you, remove yourself quickly, or you will be portrayed as toxic because of your resistance.

The rich and powerful publicly changing their moods and desires is, most of the time, simply strategy; the outcome is the benefit! That’s why we witness contradictory reactions; they play on different fields at the same time! It is only when they have acquired a good fan base and a lot of supporters that the « emotional impulse » strategy can be successfully used; the crew and admirers will back the process. And yes, it is possible, legal, and quite ok to completely change your mind about some major matter, but it does not come across as being guided by impulsivity when you’re a confident achiever, a temperate person who has repeatedly proved in the past to be worthy of trust.

Building a strong team 

There are people who like to criticize others, almost everyone, for almost everything, preferably behind their backs, and for things that they also do themselves or traits that characterize them personally which they do not judge as being harmful when it comes to their own behavior. Of course, it’s best to avoid those individuals to save yourself from getting headaches and being in unnecessary trouble dealing with their nagging.

I can’t really admire characters who boast of few achievements; it shows how entitled they feel. Accountability, a long-term vision, emotional intelligence, and being open to learn more, to be taught, are important.

– Communication skills and moderate risk-taking for the majority (the lead can be more adventurous under certain circumstances, of course).

– Creativity (not stealing from people and calling it creativity). I’d hire the creative one(s) first and see how the energy can be shared to create a movement.

– The care for privacy is essential.

– Keeping the needed distance with colleagues (it’s not a cult, it’s a business).

– Treating competition with respect; it’s not a war, it’s building a long-term presence. Responding assertively if the competition doesn’t play by the rules is crucial; disloyalty has to be immediately tackled. Personal and business grounds’ boundaries must be protected at all costs.

Empathy leading to strategy 

When **empathy** transforms into a pragmatic vision: we listen and think about the solution we can provide so that the causes of complaints are reduced. When there is no immediate solution, we plan measures to achieve it or find good alternatives. When people complain a lot about the past, you know they need therapy or some sort of spiritual healing to move on.

If it’s about **business**, financial means and good strategies can solve a lot. Of course, due compensation to repair the damage caused when there was wrongdoing can also bring some kind of peace or neutrality (which is good). To complain is to protest; it can be the expression of a will to change things for the better, a call for negotiation or help. Finding out about what’s causing the problems and what needs to be done to make things better will ease the pain if you are (or feel) concerned; otherwise, you will just be a bit bothered but unbothered because you don’t care.

It’s not just about being sorry; it’s also about the damage: narcissists don’t care, so why should we care about them and their opinions?

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