When Trauma Masquerades as Intuition

It’s not easy to see through it all, but it is achievable. I wrote about this in my books 𝑫𝒆́𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆́𝒔? 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒛 2021, 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒔 𝒅’𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒆 𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒆̀𝒓𝒆𝒔 2022. To dissociate and adopt a rational position is to see the world for what it is: layers, illusions, tensions, and misunderstandings (but also breathtaking beauty), and to consider humans for what they are—not necessarily ‘the reference,’ not necessarily ‘friends,’ and not necessarily ‘aggressors.’

When you are traumatized, emotions are sometimes numb (due to a dissociation that can be chronic in certain cases) or, on the contrary, surprisingly overflowing, emerging from numerous brain and body memory spaces. So, re-evaluating in a state of ‘attentive presence’ can change the trajectory of life events for the better: the understanding of what is really happening and what is felt takes a different turn—less tragic, perhaps even finally fulfilling. Also, learned helplessness and unhealthy attachment are important to consider when dealing with abusive relationships where mental manipulation is a major issue.

However, one must be in reasonably good conditions to engage in this practice (dissociation, attentive presence, re-evaluating the world and connections). I don’t think that’s possible when you’re in a highly hostile, stressful environment, or when your situation is so precarious that everything you need to do to survive feels like climbing a mountain alone while carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders.

You can’t turn off anxiety with a switch; it requires a minimum of comfort and resources to soothe your soul and body. Being constantly in a catastrophic state due to overwhelming adversity doesn’t give you the chance to plan good strategies or follow a chosen, superior path. So, a ‘social safety net’ and practical help are absolute necessities.

We never completely heal from our emotional wounds or the traumas we’ve endured. Our brain and body store the information in a way that it becomes ‘non-pathological,’ meaning it doesn’t influence our emotional well-being or reactions when recovery has been effective. But things can happen to reactivate the hurt. The more we build comfort, soothing experiences, and strong social bonds with our chosen loved ones, the more we are protected from the intensity of that hurt when we face adversity or emotional and physical challenges.

It is a long journey—one that lasts a lifetime. We need to recognize that emotions are not shameful, nor can they always serve as our compass, because their intensity is sometimes due to an accumulation of hurt and frustrations, or the result of past lack of communication and nurturing. I truly believe that compassion and re-evaluating reality as just a fleeting moment—one we can hold in our hands instead of letting it terrify us—can spare us a great deal of pain and, in the worst-case scenario, even suicidal thoughts.

• 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐝’𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐞̀𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐.
• 𝐃𝐞́𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞́𝐬? 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐳, 𝐩𝐚𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏