Property is the way and the goal

(By Hella Ahmed) I don’t like much to share introspection, but writing about pressure and business goals more often than not brings you to put that in your paper, because we live and learn. When I was young and idealistic, I thought that sacrifices and talent were the recipe for success, I firmly believed that meritocracy was the path to a good life for a combative, intelligent and competent person, but life ended up showing me that sacrifice is self-destruction and meritocracy just an accident, a miracle, or something you could get a glimpse of with a “coup the force”, which I eventually achieved.

The language of the fools

I was never one to handle unwarranted pressure well when I was much younger, I greatly felt the emotional consequences of this kind of abuse and I suffered deeply from it. The covert narcissists and coercive controllers who tried to play me also used to tell me that I was incapable of carrying myself properly because it was all about perception, that I was simply too immature to handle emotional abuse with grace. In other words: happy submission was expected of me, but I was just not into that, I was strong and proud. 

It was obviously repeated abuse and double victimization was part of the scheme. Manipulative people know exactly what to do to keep the exploitation going when their targets show resistance and respond with self-esteem. They trigger unfair guilt in you to control you, and as you doubt yourself and give up your rights, the cycle of abuse continues to unfold. Well I wasn’t emotionally immature, I was intelligent and fair, but too idealistic and that made me vulnerable, I gave way too many chances to undeserving selfish people dedicated to abuse.

Although I have gone through phases, like probably everyone, where I have had to deal with misinformation that positively caught my attention because it was well presented and somehow soothing for some time, I have never been caught up for too long in the midst of some nebulous scheme. As a young thinker, I was too bright to put up with none sense for too long, my modesty would quickly crack up to let my self-confidence regain all its power, I would crash up the whole scene or just leave unbothered like a winner.

Softness and power combine well

Now I have a gentle stance most of the time, I am helpful when I can and calm, but I am not blind, I know that some big narcissists choose to view my politeness as an open door to play tricks on my sensitivity, my personal value and my awareness. The truth is I can switch on them and their pawns in a second, I will tell anyone bluntly about their naive attempt to manipulate me. I don’t neglect details and I defend myself, no matter what. I will not let violence invade my life. I know my rights, I am powerful and proud of it. 

I certainly didn’t want thirsty cheap chronicle people and improvised writers coming after me and sticking together like the plague, but that’s what you have to endure because of capitalism and snobbery supported by the illusion of competence, a grandeur complex or a subtle violence characterizing the selfish ones who feel entitled because they inherited some renommée or were born with a golden spoon in their mouth. The worst are the misogynists pretending to be pro feminism on one side just to be stalking you to rip you off on the other very visible side, with laughable elitism as an excuse comforted by jealous women. 

And I didn’t expect a desperate man in Miami and his sicko associate in Paris to become dependent on me to produce anything creative of value, claiming they could create great art by themselves ever since he started obsessively and exclusively using my writings and ideas, synchronizing with me for more than 6 years now, like we were or are somehow connected when we never were! A man must have zero pride to play macho at the pool while copying everything from a smart entrepreneure, then pretend to be a king pfff!

Can men and women be friends?

The question is: Is friendship even a real thing when it’s not about the conservation of a common empire? (And not to forget that betrayals are even bigger when the stakes are higher.) Does friendship refer to some unbreakable bond? Because in our little lives, friendship is mostly possible with close family, and even then, families get torn apart for stupid things sometimes, or because of long-lasting hardships imposed on them by the harsh exteriority!

I don’t use the word « friendship » anymore; I fancy « amicability » because we are always alone, and sometimes we seek company that is temporary, and what we call friendship is getting it at the same place. Once you become lucid, you never really find peace or complete contentment again! You know that nothing is pure and that we all want to win. Resentment saves life; you know what you’ve been through.

Property is property

The more you put up with the mistreatment, the violence of the thieves, the arrogance of the privileged and their protectors, the more you will be seen as the slave to be passed around for the benefits and entertainment of the chosen ones in the select circles of fabricated glory. I believe in myself, I know all these weirdos are coming to get something from me that they can’t achieve on their own. I have “the precious” that they envy, snub, that they need but would neither respect nor pay for.

I always wanted to become a brilliant writer, first and foremost, but my goal was also to be super effective in several professional fields, capable on many levels, very knowledgeable about many things, be a great passionate teacher, a top creative and a role model for people who want to create and succeed on their own envers et contre tout, malgré le manque de soutien et le sabotage de ceux qui se croient tout permis. I will not compromise on my goals.

Hella Ahmed © All rights reserved – Find my books on Amazon