(By Hella Ahmed) Feeling dissatisfied with life, despite tireless effort, or uneasy in your own skin after illness, conflict, or significant changes like weight gain. Drifting into a routine far from the one that once nourished your body and soul. Yearning for positive change to age gracefully. Completing that degree or training so dear to your dreams. Clearing the obstacles to your professional success, facing with courage and confidence those who undermine or sabotage your endeavors. Reviving your aspirations and seeing them through. Traveling to spark your creativity, savoring the pleasures and wonders of the world that others so freely enjoy. This is about you, not those who seek to sell you their services with polished strategies.

It’s up to you to identify your needs, your strengths, and your path, so you can look in the mirror with pride and a genuine smile. Find the support that resonates with you and invest in your own flourishing.

Do You Need Guidance to Meet Yourself?

You encounter yourself every day; you live within your own skin. No one else is required to define who you are or what you should become. Yet, there are moments when you might look at yourself with aversion, or worse, with contempt, because exhaustion has led you to set aside your ambitions for countless reasons. No, you didn’t invite drama into your life. Perhaps you made clumsy choices in moments of doubt or confusion. Out of naivety, you trusted too easily; out of impulse, you followed your temperament; or, perhaps, you overthought until you lost your way. These things happen.

Life is an ongoing lesson. Your self-awareness deepens when you face your pain with clarity, accepting what lies beyond your control and taking steps to ease your sorrow, discomfort, or stress, softening the edges of your existence. If you seek support, choose practical, grounded connections. Be wary of the pseudo-poetry of pop psychology (New Age and misguided self-help thrive on dizzying psychoanalytic jargon) and moralizers with questionable behavior. Prioritize your well-being as they do their own, cherish your self-esteem, honor the fleeting nature of time, and embrace the life that demands to be lived fully in each moment, knowing it could fade unexpectedly.

Personal growth, therapy, or coaching can be valuable, but you must chart your course. If someone says, “I’ll outline exactly what you need to do to become the best version of yourself,” run. If they claim, “There’s no such thing as a better version of you in my office,” run even farther. You have the right to shed the burdens that weigh you down, to find peace in a space of self-kindness—a sanctuary where your happiness is a priority. But never let your pursuit of self-fulfillment come at the expense of others’ well-being. Do not do to others what you would refuse to endure, nor sow the seeds of mutual disdain. Forgiveness is neither mandatory nor guaranteed.

It’s Never Too Late to Do Well

This is the phrase I’ve heard most often from those who have truly helped me in life. I’ll admit, it used to irritate me, as it reminded me of time wasted, invested in the wrong places or with the wrong people. Yet, over time, this same phrase rekindled my motivation when I was weakened—during a chronic respiratory illness that lingered for years, or through my long studies dedicated to understanding human behavior from a global perspective, exploring diverse learning environments and professional practices centered on human relations and connection. I’ve never stopped learning.

My strength, or perhaps my greatest quality? I don’t take shortcuts to find meaningful ideas to share, write, or publish, unlike those who resort to intellectual theft. Alongside my university studies, I explored the world of personal development. I immersed myself in mental health and cultural media, creating reports and podcasts, pouring myself into these projects despite limited resources and little support. I wrote and published articles and books, promoted others’ work freely—most of whom showed neither respect nor gratitude. I shared knowledge and insights for the benefit of others, to help them learn more, turn to reliable resources, and suffer less. I loved music passionately, carried ambitious projects, invested deeply, dreamed big, was exploited, and thought I might not survive it. But I did, and I kept moving forward.

Too much kindness and hope in humanity, in some circles, is like diving headfirst into a lion’s den. Those in the spotlight, well-paid and acting as gatekeepers, eventually demanded my unpaid labor to boost their visibility, productivity, and profits. This went on for years. Realizing the injustice would not end, I turned away from their dishonest practices. I will go wherever I must to honor my ambitions and past sacrifices. My mind is my own, and I owe nothing to sanctimonious opportunists who turn a deaf ear when confronted with their contradictions and repeated transgressions.

Against the Tides of Misfortune

Whatever your struggle, let no one convince you that an inherent flaw attracts misfortune, that you are defective, destined to be belittled, used, or doomed to stumble endlessly into conflict or despair. Misfortune doesn’t choose you—it’s imposed by others’ will (or by chance), not by your existence. You deserve independence.

These limiting beliefs, rooted in blame, are rampant in pseudo-therapeutic circles, designed to weaken and control. Convincing people of such absurdities allows self-proclaimed guides to keep them under their influence, “saving” them indefinitely with artificial light. Many use strange language, banking on the inevitability of repetitive trauma or self-destructive patterns to assert their authority and profit, claiming to purify or bless their clients in endless cycles.

In Pursuit of Happiness

When you realize that your emotions, however intense, belong to you—living within your mind and body—and that your allies are those who gently remind you of this truth, you reclaim your power. You grasp the essence of compassionate support. Bet on moments of repeated joy: pragmatism, self-respect, and happiness can save you. Invest in your projects, not those of others. And if your vision includes shared happiness with others, that’s even better—perhaps even magnificent. Add life to your days and pay little heed to intruders.

Trust in actions, not words, and you’ll discern the truth of people and what you can truly expect from them in this world.

Hella Ahmed © All rights reserved – Find my books on Amazon