(By Hella Ahmed) Feeling contempt and being disgusted by someone’s attitude seems ok to me. It is not a choice, it is something that happens to us. Sometimes, some nutcases keep obsessing about you for years, they get deeply involved in a scheme : trying to prove to you a few things you absolutely don’t care about and probably won’t ever be intrigued by. You just really don’t like them and you don’t owe them a thing, you certainly don’t have to admire their narcissistic persona, bow to their pushy invasive presence in your territory, read their works or buy their albums. You don’t have to be a fan or a disciple. You want your space, and that’s just fine.

Some people become passive-aggressive when you make it clear that you want to keep your distance and protect your ground, they play it cool and charming though, sub-tweeting about you, all the time, endlessly. But why this restlessness? Why acting like the victim of an ego crash trying to regain power by getting fixated on the person who is just not into being involved in a one-sided relationship deemed necessity by the lunatic?

Why can’t we say no? How to make it stop?

Sarcasm is a good tool to re-frame what is hard to get by the obsessed stalker, although some big show offs characters won’t learn from it. They won’t give you a break to go on living their lives and leave you alone. They don’t realize that persistence is rude when it is a threat to someone’s right to freely choose. And the simple fact that there are billions of people on this planet who obviously have the right to express themselves and feel free about making personal choices should be a good proof to make them understand that they can’t force themselves on you. But it just doesn’t make it, the message doesn’t come across.

The real issues: a dysfunctional behaviour and some kind of an out of context revenge, and of course disloyal competition. It is not about you, it is about their needs, and you just happen to be a good help to boost their egos and their careers. They choose you and they don’t care about your consent.

When you block someone you just don’t like on social media, you want to distance yourself so they would stop thinking about you, but some profiles, often narcissistic ones with the tendency to think that they have the right to control people by morally harassing them, will become even more fixated on you. They don’t have a life plan that does not include stalking you, they lack flexibility and creativity to be productive and free of hate.

They are cheap, they won’t pay you when it’s about work and they need you, they simply leech off you instead. When you reject their attitude and try to reinforce your boundaries, they get seriously obsessed. All their stories turn into being based on your content and they subtweet you too, showing that their primary focus is on you and what you do, while you are, on the other hand, focusing on your own business, becoming very annoyed by their stupidity.

They are toxic

They won’t treat you right but they won’t let you be without them either, which is unhealthy and also the sign of a mental characteristic or an issue related to stalking, when it’s not simply about commercial parasitism: Copycat stalking and fraud. They do it because they have no self-control, they do it because they don’t like acting differently. You have many options when you don’t need to be like that and they seem to actually not have them. Either it’s basic wickedness and greed combined or it’s a sickness overpowering them. Of course, it can be both at the same time like it is often the case with Copycat stalking.

They lose their freedom to love and be fair as they play nice and loving to hide what’s really ongoing (stalking and dishonesty), probably feeling dead inside, happily depressed.

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