To be or not to be a sycophant – By essayist Hella Ahmed

Diary of a nobody that no one reads obviously .

To engage in the co-design of happiness is the joy of good-hearted connection. I see a lot of people getting in touch online, making friends, promoting each other, generating business deals and money, which is great. I also see envious individuals becoming extremely paranoid about a talent flirting with the possibility of a serious breakthrough, getting the kind of exposure that leads to good career and relationship opportunities. They start acting as if they were witnessing a catastrophe when it is only a legitimate progress. But why?

The myth of superiority

The fear of no longer being able to abuse ruins thee mood for many. As they get very jealous, anxiety strikes in because of uncertainty about the future and the improvement of competition. Strangely, a lot of humans feel emotionally hurt when achievements go beyond the limits they set for people they focus on to measure up with while climbing the stairs of success. It is simply at odds with the logic of their superiority complex to see someone getting more than them. People exhibiting narcissistic behaviour use others without guilt and laugh about it on luxurious vacations. They go on happily living the good life they believe they deserve, no doubt about it and no regard for the humans they selfishly exploit.

An abusive opportunist basically feels threatened by the eventuality of no longer being able to enjoy a success based on abuse, as the victim grows strong making allies to to create the best life. Parasites watch you constantly and engage in passive-aggressive hate individually and as organized groups with members sticking together to use the vulnerable and the less fortunate, covering the crime scene with the same old fake love talk they brought up many times. They obsess like there’s no one else to spot among 8 billion people on earth, calling the target a sycophant because the project of being independent and happy of a so-called « peasant » is taboo.

Too many moralizers don’t realize how complex a human can be and are therefore very self-absorbed when it comes to analyzing anything that doesn’t make them a glorified center of attention. I specialized in Asperger’s syndrome, comorbidity, therapy and coaching when I was studying psychology at university, and it really broadened my knowledge of human behaviour. It opened my eyes a bit more to diversity, the paths of perception and empathy. Obviously, not all humans look at the world with the same eyes, but there is a common ground where we can unite in peace and respect for limits when we don’t make everything about our little self, and that’s what selfish individuals don’t care about as they get what they want.

The path of creativity

I was told as a little girl that curiosity was a nasty flaw, and that didn’t make sense to me, how do you grow then? I felt ashamed of my need to ask questions and find answers. It was obviously a strategy some adults used to keep kids quite, without reflecting on how this statement could imprint in them to close the doors of perception. In adulthood, there is a huge difference between healthy curiosity and hurtful intrusion : being curious about me, planning on making my life better is super attractive and it is definitely the opposite of acting like an invasive intruder trying to take control, forcing an association that is only benefiting once side. In other words, it is being attentive and proactive versus selfish and abusive.

As a creative entrepreneur following your path with integrity, you come across many people calling you as difficult to deal with because they cannot fool you or enslave you. Some of the worst humans specialize in subtle hate speech while impersonating kindness. If you’re fiercely protecting your ground when targeted by them, you’ll be portrayed as being too aggressive.

Common tactical moves have something to do with money and lust, as in material gains and career advancement, courtship and loyalty. Manipulation does not necessary hurt people as it is used to get ahead, manipulation is strategy unless it becomes crime when all rules are broken. And frankly telling someone who is being wrong to you : “don’t sabotage my work, don’t be intrusive or try to use me”, is a speech coming from a place of love, self-love, love for freedom and dignity. There is absolutely nothing offensive about asserting your limits and rights, but it will be portrayed as such by abusers who don’t care about your feelings or the truth. They just want to look like winners.

Change management and truth

Who is trustworthy and who is not? This is the theme for many arguments and if we simply examine some of what the biggest moralizers constantly scrutinizing others are doing on the side, we can easily notice that a lot of them are very busy covering up their own flaws. Everybody wants to look good and make money, imposters and the selfish never seem to mention the amount of money they make taking advantage of many people, they only seem to find it outrageous that anybody they want to keep down can reach a higher standard professionally and materially. That’s how they nurture the illusion of what the elite is and what it should be, protecting huge social gaps while spreading some tiny positive news about inclusion and good intentions.

When all does not go perfectly, right away, for someone resourceful thriving for progress, or somebody basically stepping off the beaten track of a chosen by modern slavery small existence, firmly moving towards change, lame comments are made as an attempts to cancel the success process : he/she should have figured it all out before. Even when you are very prepared, you can not 100% understand a system you don’t have full access to. This kind of knowledge requires an immersive experience that gives the ability to freely navigate and dig in, making problem solving effective, reality-based. And that simply can’t be done without the help of creative, innovation-driven thinking. In fact, this applies to both in personal and at professional level.

The game of double bind and gaslighting

It’s hard to be unbothered by some perverted moves, like someone with a proclaimed « verified » and « trustworthy » voice being the self-proclaimed judge of what’s funny or not, cool or not, of what you’re personally allowed to love and tend to professionally, accusing people of being conceited and self-centred. Double bind and gaslighting are clearly going on in this patronizing dynamic : 1.You need to do as I wish to be doing the right thing, denying your inner self in the process, ignoring your needs. If you choose to be true to yourself instead, taking your feelings into consideration and daring to be opinionated, you are into mediocre. 2. Your perception of reality is distorted, I know the truth better than you (and my truth cancels your right to be you).

We basically need to block some circles virtually, and also physically for our safety. Learning to ignore interference whether some egomaniacs like it or not is crucial. That is just the way it is. Everyone can achieve great goals with the right mindset and some help. Misinformation will be used to protect the powerful, but it’s not really doable to use it to manipulate clear-sighted and very capable of critical thinking people. An illusion can be created around a center of attention, a person, and this constructed idea will be used to influence those vulnerable to misinformation, but there are obviously more connected, well-informed and insightful people, here and there, than misinformed and easy to fool ones.

Better laugh than cry about it

Humans are not perfect and sometimes we are terrible to deal with because of ignorance, narcissism and avidity. We must though keep searching for light. I personalty think that the most wasted of all days is one without laughter. We certainly don’t all laugh at the same jokes or have the same taste in humour since we don’t have the same brain, and I would like to end on this note : what is the dark side of laughter? When you fall into a pit at night and laugh at yourself (it made me laugh so much, I had to share this gem I found on Twitter).

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