Dear diary : to be or not to be a sycophant?

Diary of a nobody that no one reads obviously .

A winner engaging in co-design for the making of happiness is a connection to be desired. I see a lot of people getting in touch online, making friends, promoting each other, generating business deals and money, which is great. But I also see some individuals being envious and becoming extremely paranoid about a talent flirting with the possibility of a serious breakthrough, getting the kind of exposure that leads to good career and relationship opportunities.They begin to act as if witnessing this legitimate progress was a disaster. But why?

The myth of superiority

Surely envy. It is none the less the fear of no longer being able to abuse that is ruining their mood and making them anxious about the future. They probably also feel emotionally hurt because the achievements go beyond the limits they set for that spotted person, at odds with the logic of their superiority complex. They are convinced they have the right to use someone and laugh about it on luxurious vacations, they go on happily living the good life they believe they deserve, no doubt about it and no regard for the human tool they selfishly use to make it happen.

They basically feel attacked because they will eventually no longer be able to enjoy a violent success based on the exploitation of a victim, as that person grows strong, finds respectful allies and proceed to create the best life. So they watch constantly and engage in passive-aggressive hate. Doing so individually and as organized groups of people sticking together to use and abuse the less fortunate while covering the crime scene with the same old fake love talk they keep bringing up.They stare obsessively like there’s no one else to focus on among 8 billion people living on earth, calling the target a sycophant because the project of succeeding and being happy of a so-called « peasant » is taboo, and it seems like someone powerful listened to consider a fair collaboration.

Too many moralizers and big egos don’t realize how complex a human can be and are therefore very self-absorbed when it comes to analyzing anything that doesn’t make them a glorified center of attention. I specialized in Asperger’s syndrome, comorbidity, therapy and coaching when I was studying psychology at university, and it really broadened my knowledge of human behaviour. It opened my eyes a bit more to diversity, the paths of perception and empathy. Obviously, not all humans look at the world with the same eyes, but there is a common ground where we can unite in peace and respect for limits when we don’t make everything about our little self, and that’s a story snobby people, selfish ones and frauds, don’t care about as they get what they want in life.

The path of creativity

I used to be told as a little girl that curiosity was a nasty flaw. That didn’t make sense to me, how do you grow then? I think it was just a way some adults used to keep kids quite, without reflecting on how those words could stay imprinted in them to close the doors of perception. In adulthood, there is a huge difference between healthy curiosity and hurtful intrusion. Being curious about me, planning on making my life better, is super attractive and it is definitely the opposite of acting like a parasite intruding to take control, forcing an association that is only benefiting once side. In other words, it is being attentive and proactive versus stupidly selfish and abusive.

As a creative entrepreneur following your own path with integrity, you come across many people categorizing you as difficult to deal with when they cannot fool you. Some of the worst humans specialize in subtle hate speech, while impersonating kindness and fairness, they accuse those fiercely protecting their ground when targeted of being too aggressive. Most manipulative tactical moves have something to do with money and lust, meaning material gains and career advancement or courtship and loyalty issues.

Manipulation does not necessary hurt people as it is used to get ahead, manipulation is strategy unless it becomes crime when all rules are broken. And frankly telling someone who is being wrong to you : « don’t copy my work, don’t be intrusive to use me, don’t think you can enslave me », is a speech coming from a place of love, self-love, love for freedom and dignity. There is absolutely nothing offensive about asserting your limits and rights, but it will be portrayed as such by abusers who don’t care about your feelings or the truth.They just want to look like winners.

Change management and truth

Who is trustworthy and who is not? This is the theme for many arguments and if we simply examine some of what the biggest moralizers constantly scrutinizing others are doing on the side, we can easily notice that a lot of them are very busy covering up their own flaws and their selfishness. Everybody want to look good and make money but imposters and selfish people never seem to mention the amount of money they make taking advantage of many people, they only seem to find it outrageous that anybody they want to keep down can reach a higher standard professionally and materially. That’s how they nurture the illusion of what the elite is and should be, protecting huge social gaps while spreading some tiny positive news about inclusion and good intentions.

When all does not go perfectly right away for someone with ressources thriving for progress or somebody in a much different scenario who is basically stepping off the beaten track of a chosen by modern slavery small existence, firmly moving towards change, lame comments are made as an attempt to sabotage and try to cancel the progress process : « he/she should have figured it all out before ». Even when you are very prepared, how can you 100% understand a system you don’t have full access to? This would require an immersive experience giving you the ability to freely navigate and dig in, which will make problem solving effective because it’s then reality-based, and that simply can’t be done without the help of creative, innovation-driven thinking. In fact, this applies to both in personal and at professional level.

The game of double bind and gaslighting

It’s hard not to react to perverted gestures, like someone with a proclaimed « verified » and « trustworthy » voice being the self-proclaimed judge of what’s funny or not, cool or not, what we’re allowed to love and tend to professionally, accusing people of being conceited and self-centered. This pile of contradictions is a phenomenon, double bind and gaslighting are clearly going on : 1/ You need to do as I wish, to do the right thing, denying your inner self existence, ignoring your needs by doing so. If you chose to be true to yourself instead, taking your own feelings into consideration and having personal opinions, you are most certainly into mediocre. 2/ Your perception of reality is distorted, I know the truth better than you (and my truth cancels your right to be you).

We basically need to block and ignore virtually, but also physically for our protection, some circles to be able to keep doing our thing whether some egomaniacs like it or not. That is just the way it is. Everyone can achieve great goals with the right mindset and some help.

The misinformation argument is always going to be used to protect the power position, because it is a real actual problem that needs our attention, but it’s not really doable to use it to manipulate clear-sighted and very capable of critical thinking people. An illusion can be created around a center of attention, a person, and this constructed idea will be used to influence those vulnerable to misinformation, but there are obviously more connected, well-informed and insightful people, here and there, than misinformed and easy to fool ones.

Better laugh than cry about it

Humans are not perfect and sometimes they are terrible to deal with because of ignorance, narcissism and avidity, but we must keep going and follow the right path. I think that « the most wasted of all days is one without laughter ». We certainly don’t all laugh at the same jokes or have the same taste in humour/humor, which is just quite all right, so I would like to end on this note : what is the dark side of laughter? When you fall into a pit at night and laugh at yourself (question and answer found on Twiter).

Copyright © Hella Ahmed