(By Hella Ahmed) You are famished, you were not loved or properly taking care of and you’re wandering around somehow disconnected with that hunger in your system. Even worse, you were deeply hurt and you’re still struggling.
You need love.
Crushed, bursting with pain, in times angry and other times ashamed, you often walk alone after another cruel deception.
Hoping for some major change, you want to be respected, loved, cherished but it doesn’t seem to happen, and you end up being taking advantage of or abused mentally or/and physically.
Some people will accuse you of attracting bad gals, bad vibes, of being drawn to misadventure, thinking that something must be wrong with you, that your approach to life is problematic. They will use the “Law of attraction” speech to accuse you of being the cause of your misfortune. They will tell you that you create your own misery by attracting the bad instead of the good.
When it comes to being the carver of your own misery, you know it’s not that true, but part of it can be, because you don’t know that well your worse self that lives within you and drives you to disaster, the one that reacts wildly or think that it’s alright even when it hurts, when it’s wrong.
You don’t know your discouraged and hurt self enough to prevent it from following every representation of love that most of the time is just a shadow of something, not identified, passing by or entering your life.
When you’re very thirsty, you would drink anything to feel better. If you’re starving and food is offered to you, being a vegetarian you would eat raw meat.
Love is tricky, even more because some people can easily see your hurt, your thirst and your hunger when you don’t see it yourself as you frantically chase love and forget about your turmoil. You don’t see it because hope carries you through life to make you experiment new things and face challenges.
Hope is not the problem, forgetting about the past and falling into the same destructive pattern over and over again is the core of the problem of not getting the sane love that you need and deserve.
It’s the trauma that you forget about or put in a box and the self hate you were taught that will break you down over and over again.
You were not raised in a way that made you build a good self esteem? You tend to over-fantasize about the possibility of love and it’s authentic presence in your life because you can’t wait to be loved?
It’s dangerous to be living as the puppet of a tragic past, that’s how you can end up being dragged into terrible situations and relationships that will make you lose your dignity and won’t cause you anything but misery.
When it’s too good to be true, it’s too good to be true, and when it feels too wrong to be good, it’s not true love, it’s just another hurtful illusion.
You sometimes seek all love in the wrong place thinking that you’re changing your life by finally finding support and intimacy. Suddenly, you realize that you you were attracted to what you were winning from because you were taught that the only love you could get was violence and disrespect.
« Sometimes, we need to lose what we know and relearn about self-regard to finally start receiving the good and refusing the bad »
How do you define self esteem? How was your childhood? Was there verbal or/and physical abuse in your life? When is the time to really believe in love? Is your intuition accurate or is it distorted or blocked by self hate and doubt? Is hope your friend or your enemy?
Analyse your answers. Next time you smell love, just pause, don’t jump into it.
If you’re being offered a job, think clearly about it, is it truly an opportunity? See what’s the worth in it for your happiness and the consideration in it for your professional value. Are you shown the respect you deserve as a human being?
Same thing for friendship and love. Are you being heard? Is it all about the other? Is it based on good intentions both ways?
You can love and be loved, but don’t cry for love, predators with a good insight will play a sick game to use you and abuse you.
Break free from the shadows that are keeping you from breaking through.
Take care. You deserve to be loved.
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