(Par Hella Ahmed) When you get out of an abusive situation that’s been going on for quite some time, you realize how obvious the abuse really seemed but you were stuck, doubting yourself about how legitimate were your feelings of injustice going  through the hurt and facing the convictions of the fixated abusers distorting your perception of reality.

You ask yourself why? Why did I stay? Why didn’t I figure out a bright way out ? Why was I trapped? Why did I cry for help but nobody stood up for me? 

If you’re asking yourself these questions, it means that you have reached a higher level of consciousness and that you no longer see yourself as unworthy of the best in life.

People outside the long lasting abusive situations rarely feel like protecting you, they don’t consider themselves as responsible for your safety and your well being, they will not spend the needed money to get you back your dignity when the abuse put you in a situation where you became financially incapacitated, and pointed at as a failure in a system that celebrates money and it’s glory.

They look from the outside and juge, they probably think that cowardliness is the cause of your stillness, or stick a « mental illness » label on you which supposedly makes it normal to see you suffer and be abused because that’s what vulnerable people categorised as lacking jugement are supposed to go through in a savage capitalist environment. 

Of course there’s organisms that care for the less fortunate, but they are not always well funded to support the best steps to be taken to reach freedom, and let’s face the truth, the stigma is monstrous and the damage is way too big to be covered by the existing interventions. 

Abuse substiantially damage your self-esteem and leaves you secretly hoping for a brighter perspective where love wins over ignorance. When you’re stuck in an abusive situation that goes on for ages as life is passing by and you’re watching others get the most out of it and benefit from all the options offered to them, them not sabotaged, it’s because some dark force is hiding behind you, dragging you down, making you miserable for it’s benefits. 

When you have become a trapped vulnerable suffering abandoned victim, there is always an abuser, or many, playing your fate and bringing you down for multiple reasons.

Some abusers are psychopaths or sociopaths getting back at life through you, destroying you because they saw your beauty, your qualities, your strengths and humanity. Your humanity and your attachment to them, and their obscure violence, are what made them win over your self-love, be able to hold you back in life, witness your solitude and hurt, and enjoy every part of your seemingly never to end misery.

When you grow up in an abusive environment, you learn to put up with abuse and live your life depersonalized, as if you were watching a movie through a blurred window. A movie where others can be happy and you can only cry yourself out to sleep every night and dream about getting out of your body, out of your doomed destiny. 

The never ending suffering, abuse that leads to poverty and poverty that leads to abuse :

Sadly, when you’ve been raised by abusive people, or have suffered traumatic long term abuse, you can end up being even more abused and for a long long time. You were programmed to put up with suffering and you learned to face insults and discrimination without fighting back. So you get romantically involved with abusive narcissists when you get older.

You get professionally put down too. Because of your beaten up attitude, your financial vulnerability and the none existing support system in your life, you don’t get the best job opportunities either. You get exploited because predators can easily detect your vulnerability going through a background check. They notice that you have no solid social attachments, mentors ou family members backing you up. They know you’re in distress.

They also sometimes put you though a personality test and quickly realize that you’re lacking love, going slowly through life because of a negative self-concept, among other emotional issues. You get hired and manipulated by the worst bosses, you run away and go through the same unfair treatment over and over again. 

When does it end? It’s sad to say that without real love, it’s almost impossible to win. You can’t really find that kind of sane protective love in the system that is a huge dysfonctionnel structure where money, as always, is the key to improving the fate of humans.

If you’re lucky enough, you meet nice people who will help you rebuild your self-esteem and let you believe that you deserve the beautiful things in life too, but they probably won’t place you in a financial path where you can have better expectations outside of systemic discrimination. The elites won’t welcome you in their glorious cercles out of pitty or because you’re smart. Smart can most likely be turned into a tool to use and discard. It’s a fight you can’t win without allies, without real love, without money. 

The things that you were brought up to think were not meant for you but only for another  kind of humans, with higher energy, with another destiny where comfort and happiness are of access, will start to look like you would want to get them too. 

Where psychoanalysis discusses unconscious conflits which seems abstract and disconnected from the materialistic reality, it’s appropriate to speak about mental manipulation and behavioral conditioning.

What is saddening is that capitalism will only go in the same direction as the psychological and physical abuse that victims of the sociopathic grip have already been through, because being vulnerable and even worse closely frenetically sabotaged by the abusers not willing to let their considered as toys victims go, put them in a path of modern slavery and below poverty life qualify as an outcome of mediocre work conditions. Capitalism is about options, and if you’re trapped, abused and belittled, you don’t get that many of them. 

So now that you are conscious of your self-worth and aware of the unfair treatments you’ve been through emotionally, physically, financially and humanly like, in the past. Now that you are ready for better and that you feel deserving of experiencing the best in life, but have nobody to back you up. Now that you know that you have no loving family and nobody to help you get an appropriate job in a capitalist environment based on contacts and business benefits. Now that you know that you’re not supposed to mix with the privileged ones, the precious members of the elites.

Are you gonna spend the rest of your life suffering like a slave, ruminating the past abuse, and putting up with the abuse of poverty and unequal chances? Are you gonna live through the financial dilemma that you’re facing and the discomforts in all aspects of your life it’s causing you untill the end? What are you gonna do?