After the grip, a Hella life

Discrimination ends when you personally break it ..

When you come out of a situation of abuse that has been going on for a while, you realize how obvious the abuse was, but you were stuck, doubting the legitimacy of your feelings in a society that is very critical of victims, accusing them often of provocation and weakness. Attention seeking, victim mentality and laziness are other nice things that we like to put in the big picture so as not to give a real position on what happened or is still happening to the targets of gross abuse.

You wonder why? Why did I stay? Why didn’t I find a brilliant way out? Why was I trapped? Why did I scream for help and no one stood up for me? If you are asking yourself these questions, it means that you have reached a higher level of consciousness and no longer consider yourself unworthy of the best in life. You probably know that the fixated abusers were distorting your perception of reality, and maybe they are still working on it.

Perceptions are not your problem

People outside of the long-term violent situations rarely see themselves as protectors. They will not spend the time, energy or needed money to help you get back on your feet when you have been victimized, to support you as you regain your dignity when abuse has almost singled you out as a failure in a system that celebrates money and its glory. In fact, vulnerability attracts more abusers of all kinds, people are concerned about their own safety, well-being and happiness, a strong and capable person in difficulty is generally seen as less competition to stress about: here’s a more ground to subtly invade and use.

Most people look from the outside and juge. Cowardliness is considered as the cause of stillness in too many cases. Sticking a « mental illness » label on struggling individuals is the easy way out of a real effort to help, it makes it supposedly normal to see them suffer, because that’s what vulnerable humans categorized as lacking jugement, unfit, are supposed to go through in a savage capitalistic environment. Of course, there are organisms that care for the less fortunate, but only a few among them get the necessary funding to provide a process with the proven best steps to be taken for the quest of freedom.

Abuse and self-esteem

Abuse greatly damages your connection to your self-esteem, leaving you secretly hoping for a better future and the ability to truly embrace a new perspective in which love wins over ignorance. When you’re stuck in an abusive situation that goes on for years, watching others, not sabotaged, taking advantage of all the options available to them, it is because a dark force is hiding behind you, dragging you down, making you miserable for its benefits. When you have become a vulnerable and suffering trapped victim, there are always one or a few aggressors enslaving you.

Some abusers are psychopaths, but psychopathy is not known to be very prevalent in populations. Others are sociopaths, getting what they want by any means necessary, avenging through you, because they saw your vulnerability, your beauty, your qualities, your strengths and your gifts. Sometimes, it’s your naïve belief in humanity, as well as your attachment to people hurting you, that help your ennemies crash your self-love. Your surrender gives them the power to hold you back in life, and with great joy, they witness your loneliness and suffering. Unfortunately, your seemingly endless misery makes them happy.

Abuse that leads to discrimination and discrimination that leads to abuse

When you grow up in an abusive environment, you learn to endure the abuse, maybe even depersonalized, like you’re watching a movie through a blurry window. A movie where others can be happy and where you can only cry to sleep every night and dream of getting out of your body, out of your cursed life. You have been programmed to endure suffering. Psychoanalysis deals with unconscious conflicts, which seems pretty disconnected from our materialistic reality. I personally believe, like many therapists, that it is more appropriate and grounded in reality to address issues of mind manipulation and behavioural conditioning in cases related to violence and abuse. Chances are you have learned to deal with insults and discrimination without fighting back while experiencing long-term, perhaps traumatic, abuse, and because of that, you could end up being abused even more, for a long time.

So, you engage in romantic relationships with narcissists. You also get put down professionally, due to your battered attitude, your precarious financial situation and the non-existent support system in your life. You don’t get the best work opportunities either and you get exploited, because predators can easily detect your vulnerability through a background check. They quickly notice that you don’t have strong social ties, mentors, or supportive family members. They sometimes also make you pass a personality test, only to realize that you have a negative self-image or some emotional issues. They know you are in distress so they attempt abuse, thinking they will not be much bothered by your missing allies. You are hired and manipulated by the worst bosses, you run away and suffer the same unfair treatment elsewhere.

When does it end?

Without true love, it is impossible to overcome bad luck in life. And you just can’t find that kind of sane protective love in the system which is a huge structure where money is the key to improving the fate of humans. If you’re lucky enough, you meet nice people who will help you regain your self-esteem, and you’ll start feeling worthy of the finer things in life, but they probably will not put you on a financial path with better expectations, where you will not be discriminated against.

So now that you are aware of your self-worth and aware of the unfair treatments you have suffered emotionally, physically, financially and humanly, now that you feel ready to experience the best in life, now that you are awake, the things you have come in the past to perceive as not meant for you but only for another kind of humans, deserving comfort, gifts and happiness, are looking like you can want them and you can get them too. The problem is that you have no one to support you.

Capitalism is about options that you don’t get when you’re trapped and belittled

You overcome the worst, like a phoenix, you come back from your ashes, stronger than ever, just shining and determined, but they keep denying your worth, coming back to abuse some more. After all, they worked hard to ruin your reputation, putting you in a lonely and vulnerable place. They celebrate others for less than what you can achieve, they openly praise them for what is taken from you and presented as creative, insightful and unique. Posh elites won’t welcome you into their glorious circles out of pity or because you’re smart. Smart can most likely be turned into a use-and-throw away tool.

Now, you certainly know that no one will help you. Everything you’ve been through has shown you that you are not getting the right work opportunities in a capitalistic environment, because almost everything is based on contacts and cheating, and you’re just a threat to their blind power, not a friend, not a partner. They will keep mocking your rebellion against their favouritism and lies, claiming that racism and discrimination do not structure their abusive system excluding you while at the same time using you. Are you going to spend the rest of your life suffering like a slave, brooding over past abuse, enduring the violence of unequal opportunities?

What now?

A fight you can’t win without allies, without true love, so love yourself and never doubt your worth. In business, you can’t be a victim, you choose to be a strong creator or to be pitied and therefore seen as fragile. And if you had to go through a terrible war that you didn’t ask for or choose, it’s only because you got what they desperately needed but didn’t want to spend money to get it. Like animals, they chose to attack instead of collaborate, and you succeeded while being targeted by even more greedy individuals during this long battle. Everyone wanted a piece of you, and still you put them all in their places, you showed them your strength and your value. You have won, and more victories are to come, fortune and love are your unique path, a Hella hell of a life.

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