Can we really soften our hearts toward “flat” people? – By author Hella Ahmed, 09/06/2026 © All rights reserved

When an open heart must meet boundaries

(By Hella Ahmed) The question becomes simpler if we start at the root of the harm we do to ourselves or to others. Boredom, whether felt or inflicted, is not inherently damaging—but it can become so.

You know those people so different from you. If you have an open mind, a curiosity for complexity and diverse ways of seeing the world, a taste for knowledge and adventure, you dig deeper to learn and create with originality. You carry a sense of honor born from self-integrity. They are not necessarily « Flat ».

Being deprived of the freedom to use your gifts and personally benefit from their rewards would be a terrible bore, wouldn’t it? There is the boredom of those who recharge by changing direction and soaring on their own wings, no matter what. And there are others, perhaps less combative, who slip into helplessness and resignation—sometimes even dying of sorrow or self-destruction, masking the misery of boredom behind avoidance.

Yet we know creativity is the greatest source of beautiful turnarounds. Those who can find light in the nature of the universe cannot abandon their vocation or identity. They are entrepreneurs at heart. They learn to make do with almost nothing, bounce back despite obstacles, and rise above the hostility of those who cannot love or create with dignity—people who prefer to brag about being able to exploit others without any restraint.

Then there are those we might too easily call “flat”: people who love their modest routines and simply mind their own business. Their affairs are neither extraordinary nor special, yet they are important, soothing, and enough. Holding a simple job with honesty, watching Netflix, doing crosswords, or drinking a beer on the porch while staring into the distance… They bother no one. Their life satisfies them, and they feel genuine gratitude for the small and large things that fill their days.

It’s a matter of perception and compatibility. You can simply not feel drawn to spend time with them without labeling them “flat,” as long as you look with empathy and without egocentric judgment—without making your preferences the absolute standard of a good life.

For those who love to contemplate, philosophize, or create original work, moving through visible and invisible layers is an art of living. We use the telescope of the mind and discover wonder in both the vast and the tiny. The adventure lies in self-discovery and connection through creation and expansion. The journey remains open to all horizons. A great singer who enchants the world with her strong voice and skill could never thrive on gossip and pettiness, for example.

Imagine thinking that mocking another’s sense of wonder, hating their originality, or sabotaging their momentum out of jealousy and envy is a worthy pursuit. That would truly be “flat,” wouldn’t it? It is precisely in these attitudes toward difference that flatness shows itself as both companion and sole capacity of those who refuse to mind their own business with integrity. Instead, they invade others’ space to imagine they are winning.

They lack the equipment for a sincere thirst for knowledge. They dig into other people’s lives because they ignore the sacred and the authenticity of pure passion—the force that drives lucid souls to wage and win the war against mediocrity by rising higher.

This is why it is not always possible to soften our hearts toward truly “flat” people whose boredom destroys what is real, spiritual, and imaginatively fertile—the very things that nourish genuine entertainment and plant seeds for the future. The sadists know nothing of divine connection; they cannot approach others without wanting to devour or vandalize their precious uniqueness in order to possess.

You know the type: those who refuse to respect boundaries, who worship intrusion and practice sneering. They remain trapped in their cynicism and unbreakable patterns. You can explain until it harms your own health that their shadowy habits are exhausting and incompatible with your energy and kindness—yet they persist in their ugliness.

So accept their inability to change. Do not waste your energy, and above all, do not let their toxicity make you ill. Look elsewhere. Ignore the same old refrain. Forge your path toward the beauty of the world. Connect with those who can respect you and do you good, even through their simple presence.

I can soften my heart toward authentic simplicity as well as toward striking singularity that assumes itself with dignity. But softening my heart toward evil that ignores its own reflection, or toward those who perform exuberance to seduce through deception? No. My own nature, like that of the most beautiful creatures in the universe, has taught me otherwise. It reminds me daily that my worth is not defined by intruders’ opinions, that the jealous secretly want you to envy them while being incapable of honest self-management, and that true well-being requires protecting ourselves from the negative stress of “aggressive flatness”.

Do not expect others to be like you. Accept them as they are—and from that acceptance, make healthy choices.